How To Feel Your Feelings: 4 Steps

We are told from a young age that feelings like sadness, anger and anything that would make us cry are bad.  Sometimes we even feel bad for feeling too happy or optimistic around negative people.  So we put a lid on those feelings.  How’s that working for you?

When we refuse to feel certain feelings we are not free in life.  Continually trying to be someone else-happy, upbeat and peaceful-requires a lot of energy.  Suppressing your feelings so you won’t feel pain has its demerits.  Suppression causes a new pain.

Do you equate vulnerability with weakness?  Remember, no one is a positive ray of sunshine every second of every day.  I’ve experienced that trying to tell myself I’m fine when I’m not only makes me feel worse.  To feel is to be alive.  You can learn from your feelings.  Here are steps you can take to start feeling your feelings again.

1.  Address How You Really Feel

If you want to feel better, take a step and admit that you’re not feeling good.  Start removing the facade that you’ve been holding up.  What emotions lie beneath that facade?  Do you feel anxious, hurt or angry?  Listen to your thoughts and take time to address those memories that just won’t go away.  As you become more aware of your thought or specific memories that keep coming up inside you will begin to notice patterns that need addressing.

2.  Identify the Source 

When did you start to feel uneasy?  Did your pain begin last week when a co-worker or friend said something that didn’t sit right with you?  Pin point where the anger you may be feeling originated from.

3.  Stay Open and Let Your Emotion Run its Course

It’s ok to be vulnerable and real.  Though, allowing our hearts to be open and to really feel can be frightening.  You may think that if you allow yourself to feel your emotions that they will run rampant inside you and eventually engulf you.  Thankfully this is not the truth.  It’s true that if you decide to be open and listen to yourself that you will feel the emotion more but you won’t be consumed by it.  At any point you can take a break from the feeling and come back to it later.

4.  Commit Yourself To Emotional Health

When you resist feeling you are resisting “what is.” Resisting your current emotional reality can lead to a weakened immune system and allow serious illnesses to set in.  By taking responsibility for your emotions you gain back more energy to live your life with.

People who commit to their emotional health will do what is required to learn how to feel again and then release buried emotions. This journey is not guaranteed to be comfortable or easy but I promise you will experience great joy once you’ve gotten over the first few bumps. Be patient with yourself as you learn about the deeper matters of your heart.  Just like riding a bike or swimming was learned, you can learn how to feel freely again.  Taking care of ourselves is the greatest way we can love ourselves in a healthy manner.

Love to you as you begin this journey!

Amy

Amy Englemark is a Self Care Expert, unique-like a breath of fresh air in a stressed out, overworked society. She shows people why staying healthy is vital and guides them to establish and maintain positive changes in their lives in a stress-free way! As a dynamic, sought-after speaker, writer and founder of Amy Englemark Coaching, Amy Englemark is passionate about helping people develop guilt free self care choices and create sustainable lifestyle changes.