4 Steps to Learn to Trust Again
I’ll be really honest with you. If I was a betting type of girl I’d say we have a big similarity. I have had my heart hurt, not just once. I have lost my trust in certain people. How about you?
Mistrust can breed a negative atmosphere in relationships. Instead of arguing, blaming and disrespecting each other, do something about it and restore your relationship. If that person is out of your life now you still need to forgive them so your heart can be set free to trust again. Hurt happens. Though, spending your time focusing on the pain won’t move you forward!
If you want to create a secure bond and lasting happiness with someone you need to learn to trust again. Deciding to trust requires a step of faith. Rather, many steps, day after day. With every step you take, you will become stronger and more confident.
Eventually you will stop hurting and your mourning will turn into dancing. Oh yes.
Here are 4 Steps To Help You Trust Again:
1) Acknowledge the pain or fear you’re experiencing
If you avoid or ignore your feelings they are bound to grow inside you. Just like carbonation in a pop bottle. When someone opens a carbonated beverage that’s been shaken they are bound to have a mess on their hands. When you bottle up negative feelings you end up with the same result. Don’t keep a tally of your partner’s mistakes. Rather, take the focus off them and begin working on yourself. Remember, they have to deal with you too!
Pay attention to your feelings so you can move forward into the life of freedom you were meant to live.
You are not a bad or stupid person if you have believed:
“I’m not valuable”
“I’m not beautiful”
“I have nothing to offer”
Quite the contrary! You are unique and loved. I’ll say that again. YOU ARE UNIQUE AND LOVED. Please, don’t let shame or fear hold you back from experiencing a full life. Though it is sometimes difficult to talk about matters of the heart, your next step is to…
2) Talk with others about your feelings
Allow them out of your head and heart and into the light. Often when we keep our thoughts, emotions or beliefs hidden inside we lack the clarity that a different perspective brings. Taking a risk by opening up will help you gain a fresh perspective on yourself and others.
I’m not suggesting you upen up with people who will complain with you about how horrible others can be. Choose to talk with those who will encouraage , uplift and shift your current perspective to a healthier one. Who are these people in your life? Who can you…
3) Ask for help
Those dear to you can help you replace lies you may have believed by speaking the truth into your life. Ask them to tell you the truth about who you are and what you’re capable of. Ask them to keep reminding you when they see you.
This act requires humility! This procss of opening up may be painful. Sometimes pain is part of the healing process.
Your heart has to have the old bits removed before it can be renewed.
4) Allow time to heal
Be patient with yourself. If you’re in an intimate relationship, ask your partner to also be patient and support you through the process. Take this time to think truthfully about how you could work on yourself. The more time you invest in your personal growth the more your relationship will benefit.
So, as you acknowledge your feelings don’t forget to also talk out loud about them. Talk about them with the right people. Don’t share your personal feelings with just anyone. Ask for their help. The people who love you dearly will be glad to speak the truth into you until you believe it. Learning to trust again may take time. But time is on your side! Use your time wisely. The return on your investment will be high!
Let me know how YOU learned to trust again. Post your comments here or on my facebook page facebook.com/AmyEnglemarkCoaching
Looking forward to hearing your story!
xo Amy
